I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
