So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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