If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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