Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
