i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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