you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
