I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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