We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize