PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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