Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
