That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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