I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize