My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
