I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
