If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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