girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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