Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
