I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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