Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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