i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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