So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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