dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
