how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
