it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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