God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
