i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
