yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
