omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
