sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
