Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
birth control should be required to get into college
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize