Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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