Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
