Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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