Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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