found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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