i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
