I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
