She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
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we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My life is pants optional.
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