I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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