is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
