After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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