I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
vagina is talking i cant
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
