what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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