There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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