real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
