Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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