the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
