i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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