How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
