3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
