four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
