that's an acceptable place to lick
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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