sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
