I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
