They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she told me i tasted like america
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
