If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
