I hate your face
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Randomize
