so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
