so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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