I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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