toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
