the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
