So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
