I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
