happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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